growth

Last Conversation of a Father and Son

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father son conversationFunny how caregiving is the gift that just keeps on giving. We think it is just about the physical care and emotional roller coaster of caring for loved ones. With their passing comes a whole new package of personal work that pulls up all the many things we ignored during the times of providing care.

Some of the issues are easy to work through, while others are landmines. This is a short story of one of the latter. Read the rest of this entry »

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Dementia – Hollywood’s Finally Starting to Get It Right

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dementia Alzheimer's

Dementia, as a plot device for television or film, has never quite lived up to the reality. Usually played for sobbing sympathy or just a tragic underscore to a character, the story line usually leaves out the stumbling’s of the caregivers and their associated confused introduction to their new roles. Rarely do we get to see the conflicted person make their way through to becoming the care-giving person they will become.

That is until now. Read the rest of this entry »

Nailing Back Emotions: Why Am I So Angry?

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anger angryCaregiving is as much an emotional roller-coaster for things about the caregiver as it is to the caregiving itself. Not all crises come from the circumstances of the people for whom we care. Sometimes our own emotional baggage decides to unpack and stay for a while. Read the rest of this entry »

If I Had It To Do Over Again

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childhood gamesDo-overs.

That childhood name for all of those things or situations we really wished had turned out differently. Somehow we never entirely give up on the concept, even though we intellectually come to understand other realities as we grow into adulthood.

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Being There

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overwhelmed caregiverThe longer we care for loved ones, care evolves from a handful of things to take care of, to a significant number. Easy to get overwhelmed in the rush, right?

Once we’ve gotten past that adrenaline rush of finding ourselves in a position we never expected to find ourselves, and handling all of the crises that accompanied this transition, we begin a reflection on our circumstances.

“Where am I?”

Read the rest of this entry »

Lessons My Father Taught: Letting Go of Regret

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“And all of the important papers… you know… the will and life insurance papers are in the oval table in the living room”, Dad reminded me for the third time that morning.

“I know Dad”, I said, trying to add a calming inflection to my voice.

“You’ve done a great job getting things ready. If I don’t know where something is, I’ll check with you after the surgery.”

Read the rest of this entry »