When Sparkler Moments Happen

sparkler dementia caregiving

Remember childhood 4th of July celebrations where we ran about the yard waving lighted sparklers, watching the play of brilliant light against a summer twilight? The caution against burning ourselves juxtaposed against our brief joy of racing with bright lights. We were fixed in the moment. Then the time came when the sparkler in your hand finally ran down to sputter out those last few arcs of light before the warm darkness closed around us again.

Caregiving also has its moments of brief brilliant light, full of joy, and with a definitive closure at the end. Wondrous to experience. Bittersweet to remember.

Continue reading “When Sparkler Moments Happen”


The Long Disconnect

Like many caregivers, I started losing Dad over a period of years prior to his passing. By the time he actually died, it was hard to feel grief. I had already grieved his leaving but the guilt over not feeling something was still very disconcerting. Like so many other feelings, this one just resolved over time. I think much of the healing was in finding out how common those emotions are among caregivers.

Anger, on the other hand, was not an emotion I had anticipated this long after his passing and I really had to work at resolving it. Continue reading “The Long Disconnect”

Last Conversation of a Father and Son

father son conversation

Funny how caregiving is the gift that just keeps on giving. We think it is just about the physical care and emotional roller coaster of caring for loved ones. With their passing comes a whole new package of personal work that pulls up all the many things we ignored during the times of providing care.

Some of the issues are easy to work through, while others are landmines. This is a short story of one of the latter. Continue reading “Last Conversation of a Father and Son”

Being There

overwhelmed caregiver

The longer we care for loved ones, care evolves from a handful of things to take care of, to a significant number. Easy to get overwhelmed in the rush, right?

Once we’ve gotten past that adrenaline rush of finding ourselves in a position we never expected to find ourselves, and handling all of the crises that accompanied this transition, we begin a reflection on our circumstances.

“Where am I?”

Continue reading “Being There”