Funny how caregiving is the gift that just keeps on giving. We think it is just about the physical care and emotional roller coaster of caring for loved ones. With their passing comes a whole new package of personal work that pulls up all the many things we ignored during the times of providing care.
Some of the issues are easy to work through, while others are landmines. This is a short story of one of the latter. Read the rest of this entry »
Dementia, as a plot device for television or film, has never quite lived up to the reality. Usually played for sobbing sympathy or just a tragic underscore to a character, the story line usually leaves out the stumbling’s of the caregivers and their associated confused introduction to their new roles. Rarely do we get to see the conflicted person make their way through to becoming the care-giving person they will become.
That is until now. Read the rest of this entry »
Intention is what we bring to a task or role – whether we know what we are getting into or not.
Our strength as a caregivers to get up each day and take care of everything one can possibly do is astounding! The personal costs can sometimes be great (loss of time, resources, and even Health) but we persevere. But how do we do it? Read the rest of this entry »
Ask any caregiver about the work they do and they will likely describe tasks accomplished. Breakfast was eaten, their charge was dressed and set into motion for the day. Nothing of great consequence. Just another day.
What is often not mentioned are the multitude of little things that go missing over time from the daily routine. The interpersonal exchanges of activities or words that no longer happen. Read the rest of this entry »
Loss is inevitable.
We give up things so we can grow. Childhood toys give way to the clothing and cars of adolescence. Which are eventually are replaced by the trappings of adulthood. We give up to get.
Caregiving is an activity that amplifies this because the process of giving up involves cherished parts of our lives. Read the rest of this entry »
That childhood name for all of those things or situations we really wished had turned out differently. Somehow we never entirely give up on the concept, even though we intellectually come to understand other realities as we grow into adulthood.
“And all of the important papers… you know… the will and life insurance papers are in the oval table in the living room”, Dad reminded me for the third time that morning.
“I know Dad”, I said, trying to add a calming inflection to my voice.
“You’ve done a great job getting things ready. If I don’t know where something is, I’ll check with you after the surgery.”