Success is not built on success. It’s built on failure. It’s built on frustration. Sometimes its built on catastrophe.
As caregivers, we all specialize in frustration management. It goes with managing that multitude of care giving issues that can bring us down sometimes. We all know that we didn’t sign up for this part but there it is. Deal with it.
What brought this subject up for me was an overheard conversation in a waiting room a couple of weeks ago. A middle-aged couple were discussing some matters of some importance to them, judging by the intensity of their speech.
As the conversation continued, the emotional import increased. Since I was sitting right next to them, I had little choice but to become witness to their conversation.
The topic of the discussion was about the care of her elderly mother. Lots of emotion about wanting to care for her in repayment for the care she had provided her daughter. Frustration over the increasingly bizarre behavior and emotional burden that was taxing the family members. (We’re all very familiar with this.)
Then came the statement that still bothers me today.
The husband said that the mother should just hurry up and die because she’s been here long enough.
Even at my most worn out moments, this was not a thought that ever occurred to me. I carried this troubling comment around in my head for days trying to figure out where such an idea could come from? Surely he could not have been serious. Or could he?
I stepped back, and as I have made this observation before, society today demonstrates a considerable amount of selfishness. So many people operate under the firm conviction that the world revolves around them and any inconvenience must be catastrophic because it affects them.
I just want to stand up and be counted amongst the minority who cares for others not for what it gives to me but what I give to them.
There is no big payoff coming someday and you want to make sure you’ve paid in well. The reality is that humility is the reason why we help. It is in our better nature to give and not expect payment.
And remember that we are all here for whatever and however long we choose. There is no cutting to the front of the line and no getting out of the way for someone else. It is our better nature to care for one another and ourselves. Selfishness limits our nature and deprives us from growing as persons.